I saw the crumble coming.
He stood there in the snow not knowing which way to turn with all the commotion going on around him and I saw his face. His eyes were darting around looking for anything, anyone to rescue him. His mouth began to curl down as his eyes squinted and before there was a sound, tears came. I was sitting in the 4 wheel drive pickup waiting because I didn't have the right shoes on to "rescue" the trapped and so I watched.
It was beautiful out, really. The landscape was covered with the white stuff and the snow continued to fall. We had been at a holiday party that the new owner of Yoder Cabinets held at his house - out in the country on the other side of Philomath. The weather hadn't been our friend while we were there and because the road there had taken us up and down hills I was a little concerned about the ride home. I had reason for concern and as I watched Josh and his family try to leave in there 8 passenger van I knew I was not to be disappointed. Rear wheel drive - not so good on snow covered roads that happen to begin up hill for the ride home. The van didn't get any distance from the driveway - as a matter of fact it lost ground so the men decided to leave the van there and half of the family would come with us and half with the host of the party - Jodi, Jake and Max riding in our pickup and Josh,Noah and Oliver riding in the other vehicle - both being 4 wheel drive.
That's when the process of unloading the van started and that's when I watched Jake begin his melt down. Jake was told to stand there while the men transferred car seats and Jodi transferred babies. I saw the fear in his little face and I had an overwhelming feeling of compassion. He was perfectly safe at the moment but he didn't know that. He was afraid of the unknown. He began to cry and I immediately pointed out to Warren what was going on. Warren moved as quickly as he could for Jake, scooped him up, and brought him to the pickup. The adults said what we could to comfort him but he was shaken. Jodi calmly told him why we were safer in this vehicle and continued to talk and console him whenever he needed it on the way home. He mentioned several times that he was holding his puppy. (equivalent to a security blanket!)
Later, safe and warm at home, I couldn't get the picture of Jake standing in the snow out of my mind.
I thought of how often I feel like Jake looked.
I find myself in situations trying to do what God's asking me to do but I'm scared. I forget that I am being watched and that my Father has a better, safer plan for me. I want to stay in what I know to be my comfort zone. (in this case the 8 passenger van) I forget all reason when I stand in fear of the unknown.
I had so much compassion for Jake as I sat there watching and yet he was so unaware that my eyes were even on him.
Lord, make me aware that Your compassionate eyes are always on me.
You are safe to obey.