Sunday, September 28, 2008

Go On, Melt His Heart!

I spent a few hours at the park yesterday.

We were invited there for a birthday party for one of my grandsons and his cousin (on the other side of the family).

When I got there, Jake and Max were playing in a big sand box with some of their cousins. Max saw me and immediately came running. With a cry of "grandma" he jumped into my arms and I got kisses and hugs while he told me he didn't know I was coming. He expressed pure joy in seeing me and it felt good.

His smiles melt me. His whole face lights up when he smiles and his dimples can't help but make you smile and laugh right back. Even now, I smile thinking of his smile. It's contagious.

Jake didn't see any of this interaction with Max as he was busy playing with his best buddy (and cousin) Aidan. I saw him smile first, recognition. Instead of running to me he turned to Aidan and said "Aidan, look who's here, my grandma! Aidan, look!" Aidan did look, rather nonchalantly, and continued playing. Jake, thinking Aidan hadn't gotten the message, again tried to make him understand that I was there but when he realized Aidan wasn't that interested Jake gave me a big smile and went back to his playing. I interacted with Jake periodically throughout the afternoon and as I was leaving I made my rounds to get kisses from all the grandchildren. When I asked Jake if I could have a kiss goodbye he replied, "and hugs" and flew into my arms. Oh, the joy of love returned!

I was thinking of all of this today after leaving church. Leaving worship. I had to think of the two different responses I got from Jake and Max and my feelings of each. Then I thought of how differently we all are in responding to God.

Max's response was very outward and showy. He saw me, gave me his full attention and went back to what he was doing. That's his personality. He'll kiss you and express his love many times through out the time you're with him. I love that about him.

Jake didn't run to me but he wanted to let his best friend know that I was an important person. He believed that Aidan would find me just as important and he wanted to share the news that I had arrived. Jake isn't one to tell you often how much he loves you or give kisses and hugs but when they come it's so from his heart. I love that about him.

Whose response was right? Which one melted my heart? Both. Because I know these two little boys well and I knew what each was offering me. Their love.

I believe both responses melt God's heart too. He knows us better than we know ourselves.

He knows our heart.

Oh, the joy of love returned.

Friday, September 26, 2008


Abraham heard the voice of God and he obeyed. He continued to listen for God's voice or Isaac would have died.

Thank you for that insight, Jared.

Lord, we want to continue to be sensitive to Your voice.

The Night Hours

I worry.

They say that once you admit that you have a problem you're half-way there to solving it. Sounds a little secular to me but...

This week I have spent a lot of time confessing it to the Lord. It's hard to admit. I really want to be the one that Jesus says "your faith has made you well"! I'm not there. But God is doing a work and I have a little victory to share.

I've been waking up a lot at night and laying there thinking of all of the things I can worry about....It almost makes me dread the night hours. The "hows" of Brazil can be mind consuming and, as often is the case, they plague me at night. (and I haven't solved a thing by laying there worrying at night either!)

Yesterday I had spent hours sharing with one of my sisters about faith. Yes, I did admit that I sometimes struggle with it myself :) but I gave her some pointers. ( it always feels good to be the one giving the pointers, doesn't it!)

Now for the victory: I went to bed and sometime during the night the old familiar starting to worry and wake up feeling hit and this is what happened. God's Word, which I had shared with my sister, came to me in a half awake state.

Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Phil 1:6

God is good and does good. Ps. 119:68 (Thanks for sharing that one Kari!)

Faith is trusting God that whatever He does or allows in my life is going to be for my good. (understand that is when I am seeking Him and His will for my life). I may not always see it, or feel it, or even know how it could possibly be but I can trust it. You are safe to obey God and I praise You.

And I never fully woke up....

Thursday, September 25, 2008

A Good Book

I love to begin a new book. Oh, the possibilities! Will it start slow or grab my attention from the beginning? Will I learn something from it or will it be something of pure enjoyment? Will I feel I know the author a little bit when I'm finished or will I feel that he (or she) was vague and unattached from their own writing? Will it be a book to linger over or one that commands my attention even when I'm away from it? I love a new read....

I feel a little like this with school. I've tasted two days of classes and study and I must say - it has my attention even when I walk away or put the books aside. Oh, the joy of learning! And because it's a Bible School I already feel as though I'm beginning to learn all new aspects of the wonderful Author. I thought I knew Him well but I am already seeing some of the wealth of Him I have not yet uncovered. I'm anticipating the joy of discovery!

I also want to make it a point of learning to know the other students so yesterday I invited two of the girls out to lunch afterwards. We spent a couple of hours getting to know each other. What a joy! I could probably camp out with the two of them this whole session and not learn (or enjoy) all there is to know from them. Great girls - I mean they agreed to spend time with this old lady, didn't they, and at least pretended to enjoy it!!!!

I think all my excitement and stories could be wearing a little bit thin with Warren but I have a defense....he was off to the same school this morning to study the book of Acts. There is no way he could come home nonchalant about that! We'll probably have to take turns sharing about all we've learned and our experiences. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm also trying not to be jealous this morning with the fact that he's off to class and I'm not!

Tuesday is just around the corner...

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Something New

This morning I am going to start a new chapter in my adult life - school! Warren and I decided it would be good if I took some classes at the school of ministry (Cornerstone) that our church has. I'm so looking forward to it.
I will be going Tuesdays and Wednesdays this term so i guess that makes me a 1/2 time student. I asked the boys what I needed to take for my first day of school (I remember so clearly when I was preparing them for their first days!) and they gave me some pointers with which Brett ended his by saying "mom, don't embarrass me with my friends". So I guess there is one more thing for me to watch out for...keep my mouth closed and my mind open!

I must say, I'm fearful of my learning abilities but at the same time very excited to give it a try. So...I'm off.......

Monday, September 15, 2008

Tired Smiles

We've been really busy getting ready for this day. It's called for some late nights and long days. We've painted,stained, put up trim, sanded, grouted, installed bookshelves, put in a sink and toilet, light fixtures and had carpet installed for this big day. Warren was having surgery.

Why all the fuss? Well, it really wasn't to celebrate the surgery itself but rather because of the surgery. He had two hernias and so we knew that after the surgery he wasn't going to be able to lift anything over 25 lbs for 6 weeks hence forth we had a lot of work to do before hand. We made a valiant effort. All major things are complete on the house with just little things left to do here and there. It feels so good NOW! My parents are coming for a visit on Wednesday and Mom reminded me again on the phone today that they intend to help with "the little things" left to do. They're troopers so I'm afraid that relaxing time for me is not in the near future yet!

Warren's doing well tonight. He's on some pain medication but getting around just fine. The doctor said the hardest thing will be to not to over do it. I had to remind him a couple of times of that already! Thanks to everyone who was praying for him.

And the house? We're loving it and the feeling of it being near completion. Now for a good cleaning. (my mom will be good help with that too!)

We're wearing tired smiles tonight.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Finding the Diamonds

Our header is a little deceiving. It's not that Warren and I don't spend time laughing with each other, that's actually one of the things I love most about our relationship. The deception is in the fact that it may lead you to believe that refreshing joy only comes from laughter. Maybe before this weekend that's the belief I kind of harbored myself. I learned differently.

I was at our women's retreat (Calvary Chapel Corvallis) the past few days and came home with things that I want to ponder. I believe God has more for me from the teachings than what I have yet uncovered. I love the time of sifting through good teaching. Of praying for God to enlighten me on the things that were specifically for me. I love when the teacher, through the anointing of the Spirit, can open my eyes to scripture in a way that I have never seen it before. So, I'm still in that process of letting it run through my fingers, finding the diamonds. (thank you, Kari!)

It was great teaching but it was hard. No getting around that. To be quite honest, during the first session I really felt like I wanted to go home. It was TOO hard and I really questioned whether or not it was what I NEEDED to hear right then. When the service had ended my friend Deb turned to me and asked if I was okay. I don't remember what I responded but it was short because I really didn't want to cry. Right on the heels of that my friend Cindy comes over and asked how I was doing. Too soon for composure after the last question, I cry. And cry. Now I don't have one of those pretty cries and I HATE to cry about anything that has to do with me. This is what happened. My two closest friends laid their hands on me and prayed. They whispered truths to me from God's Word and shared in my tears. As I type this the tears are running down my cheeks because it was so beautiful, so healing and so refreshing. It brought about pure JOY!

Who would have thought it? There's Refreshing Joy in shared tears too.

God, You're good and do good. Ps. 119:68