Monday, August 18, 2008

Black and White

I found out some rather disturbing news about one of my closest friends last week and I can't get it out of my mind. Now I didn't learn it directly from the person but I do think it was reliable. (coming straight from her daughter)

Okay, I've got to explain. About 12 years ago my sister (she hates it when I always say "older sister" so I won't) and I were working on a project together at one of our houses. Now we really get into our work and by that I mean we get dirty. But have no fear, we have clothes for that. Oh yes, I mean special clothes for those especially dirty jobs like gardening, painting, cleaning, etc. Now those clothes, although perfect for the job, are not meant to be seen by anyone other than close family members. Why? you ask. Because we are not white short people.

It was on that day, 12 years ago, that we both realized that we had white short neighbors.They are those people that can put on a pair of white shorts and work out in the garden all day pulling weeds, planting flowers, mowing the lawn, etc and at the end of the day they still look clean and fresh. They actually sit down to a BBQ that evening (on the very clean patio of course) with china, cloth napkins and music in the background. They are the kind that can receive surprise drop- in guests at any time though out the day because they look great with their hair pulled up on their head and no makeup (or else their makeup is perfectly done because, of course, they haven't sweat it off - they don't sweat which means they smell good too!) It all looked so easy, so wonderful. Joni and I? Well, let's just say we don't own any white shorts.

So to get back to my friend and the disturbing news. NO, she doesn't wear white shorts to garden. It's much worse. Her daughter told me she wears a special (are you ready for this?!) dress!!! I have never.... I knew she was one classy dame but come on - this is way out of my league....a dress to garden? How does one do that?...!

I'd like to say that I'll be shopping for white shorts but I don't do shorts.

I'll just look over the fence and envy my neighbor.

***this is no way a slam on my friend. I'm sure she looks as cute as can be in her gardening dress. Joni and I both realize that the whole concept comes from nothing more than envy, pure and simple.


Unknown said...

You're so funny! I can just see you and Joni noticing this. However, I can also see a certain someone's mother wearing white shorts.

You are right: there are some people who seem to have a secret dirt repellent around them. Perhaps it is like magnetic poles: some people attract dirt, others repel it. I am of the latter.

You are also right: pure envy. I know the feeling :)

Kellie said...

ha ha! This was a great post except after the first paragraph I was thinking to myself, "wait a sec, you are white short people" (thinking you meant height wise!). So when I realized what you meant it was even funnier!

And gee... I wonder who in the world you could possibly be talking about, gardening in a dress :)

Sheri said...

Kellie, I reread it thinking about your comment about us being white, short people and I must say I had to lol :) because I hadn't even thought of that.

Thanks for the comments, you guys!

Anonymous said...

I think there has been a little feather telling fairy stories. There is a difference between down and dirty gardening and a little deadheading and watering in a denim sundress (handed down 6 years ago by another girl child) If you would have seen my mud splattered self today you would have chuckled. Must admit I am reading this before bed and have a big smile on my face even a chuckle or two is heard echoing around the the yellow and red room:)