5 Days - 4 Nights

For the first time in 3 years we are going to all be together.
The whole family.
Together.

It has the potential to be a glorious time.
And there is opportunity for, well, a not so glorious time.

Fourteen personalities - 9 guys, and 5 girls.
Four marriages.  6 kids.
Many different ages.
14 different opinions.
1 house.

And I am beyond excited!!!!

Being that we live in 4 different states -
 two clear across the country from the other two -
we don't get this chance often enough.
And we always love to get together.

But, we are people, and in spite of our love for each other
we must still make a conscience decision
to unconditionally love each other in confined spaces.
To look over each other's faults.
To speak kindly of each other and to each other.
To put others needs and desires ahead of our own.
To respect each others space and opinions.
To not be easily offended or hurt.

To remember that just because we are family it does not give us the
freedom to operate in the flesh
but rather the greater responsibility to live by the Spirit.

I have not really worried about us,
knowing we are blessed
to have a family that longs to be together,
but I would be naive to think that there is not a risk here.

We are living in a time when families are easily
torn apart by things said
or actions taken.
And it is, by nature, our tendency to look out for ourselves
before others.

And so I write this;
Knowing how excited we all are to spend this time together.
Wanting it to be with the same expectation that we wait for the next time.
Desiring that we miss each other when all is said and done.

And knowing that each one makes this imperfectly, perfect family.

Behind their backs

She's pretty
and has a sense of humor to die for.

She's smart and has a successful career.

She's a sharp dresser and knows how to put together "a look".

She has a family that loves her
and thinks she is the best.

But her perception of herself is different.
She struggles with, what I now know, years of verbal abuse.  Bullying.

I've known her for years.

Well...maybe I shouldn't use the word KNOWN
because when I really listened to her recently
I came to the realization that a huge part of her life
I hadn't known.
A part that shaped and molded her into who she is.

I don't know what caused her to tell her story that day.
We weren't alone so she wasn't talking directly to me.
She wasn't trying to get my approval or sympathy.
She was just telling her story.
Unexpectedly even to herself, I think.

There were a few questions here and there
but, honestly, we mostly just listened
to a woman explain
why she is who she is today.

I don't know how many years this bullying consumed
(or maybe she would say at times it still feels as though it goes on)
but in those precious years of a child's life when it matters the most
what people think
she was, in her mind, told all to clearly what they thought.
And it wasn't nice.  It wasn't loving.  It wasn't right.
Maybe, we think, she shouldn't have let it bother her - what they thought.
But it did.  It does.

Called names, ridiculed, (and maybe the worst) ignored.
At school and at church.
In the church youth group where you would expect to be loved unconditionally - or at least accepted.
At first she hoped for some reprieve when relatives
were part of the group.
She quickly quit hoping.
Their silence was as bad as the words that were spoken.

Even as she told her story I could feel the pain.
She teared up now and then
but it was as though, finally,
she could speak of it - even to herself.

She excused the kids now
by saying "they were just kids"
but in her telling of it
I came to the realization
that she can be in that moment once again simply
by a word spoken to her now that she interprets to mean something it wasn't meant to mean.
It all becomes so personal.
The gut retching pain of it all.

She mentioned how she is examining how this small portion of her life
has impacted the majority of her life.
Decisions.  Actions.  Choices.  Self-worth.
Things she does and feels even today, so many years later.

I've since cried for her -
for that young person that so badly wanted acceptance
only to be openly put down - beaten down - with words and actions.
To be judged by the outward appearance
and motives that others knew nothing about.
I weep for that person even as I write this.

And I weep for me.  For repentance.
For the times I have listened to others being put down by someone.
For the times I have been silent and in that way contributed.
For the things I have thought in judgement of others.
And for the things I have said to someone and for the things I have said  behind their backs.

Oh, forgive me Lord
 for the things I have said of people
"behind their backs."

I hope her sharing with us helped to heal.
I hope self acceptance becomes a victory in her life.
I hope she can forgive.

I have been asking the Lord to make me more like Him.
I believe He is bringing me to the realization that first I must see for myself who I am.

I know He will forgive.

EASE DROPPING

I wasn't trying to ease drop. 
And I don't necessarily think they were trying to keep it private.

I came around the corner and she was telling her husband good-bye
   as he was going to be gone for at least a week on a job related trip.

I heard the typical "I love you"
      (I knew and they knew they felt this way about each other but oh so good to say and hear!)
and then the reminder to " Drive Safely"
   
He started to walk away and as he turns she speaks her heart
and this is what causes me to pause;
     

"remember who you are"


The words made me draw a quick breath.
Such a powerful word for him and I suspect it has been spoken many a time in their marriage.


"remember who you are"

• Don't give into peer pressure to do or say things you know you shouldn't say or do.
• 
  
• Don't join in an activity that you know isn't the best choice.
• 
  
• Don't give into the enticement of making more money by compromising your integrity.
• 
  
• Don't put things or prosperity above people.
• 
  
• Don't say things that make you look better at the expense of others.
• 
  
• Don't think you have to be right.  That you have to have the last word.  That you have to win.
• 
  
• Don't be impatient, unkind, or callous to those you work with, meet, or cross paths with.
• Don't be unforgiving or hold a grudge.  Don't be touchy or easily agitated.
• Don't be bitter or grouchy or vain.

"remember who you are"


A man of God.

A sinner saved by grace.

A man greatly loved by his family.

A man blessed by God.

A child of the King.

A man that someday wants to hear "well done, good and faithful servant."

 I am sure that through the years my uncle has found new discoveries of who he is and who he wants to be and, even more importantly,

God revealing to him who He want him to be.

I am also sure that he would say that there have been times he has forgotten.  Times he has been
less than who he knows he is in Christ.  Times of needed repentance.

But it got me to thinking

If I would remember who I am - who God has created me to be

would I be more careful with how I fill my time?
would I take more care to tame my tongue?
to offer my help?
to give more to others?
to praise God more and complain less?
to see the good in others rather than find their faults?
to believe more and fear less?

Someday I am going to ask my aunt what she means when she says it
 but right now

I am asking God what He meant
when He said it to me this morning
through a simple good-bye at the door...

Remember who you are, Sheri.

Blowing in the Wind...

We're planning on a move.  Soon.  Across country.  Again.

Things have changed some with our involvement in Brazil and so we have been kicking around

and praying about our future.  What is needed, what we want to do and when to do it.  

We made plans to stay in Tennessee where two of our children and their spouses are.  We were fine about staying here.  We love our church and the people there.  Can put up with the summer weather knowing that the winters are wonderful.  But work was a factor and it was becoming more of a concern with each passing month as we thought about our future.  Besides, every time we tried to open a door here it seemed to close....

And then Warren got a job offer. A good offer. In Idaho.  Around my parents and two of my sisters and their families.  Closer to our other son and our five grandchildren.  Back to the west that Warren, especially, loves so much.  We talked.  We prayed.  

We are moving toward that with the prayer that God will slam the door shut if it's not to be.  

We are growing more excited with each day although it is mixed with the realization that we have yet more hard good-byes to say.  Now we have people in so many places that we love.  That we miss and will miss. 

With these changes I am also changing this blog - the name and the reason for it. 

 I will keep all of the old posts, mainly because I want  to remember. 

 I will be using this blog, now, for my thoughts and insights into what God is doing through ordinary circumstances in life to teach me. 

For those of you that are not so interested in that, I am also starting a new blog.  It will be about "house stuff".  Both the house we are finishing up here in Tennessee and also about the house we hope to get and transform in Idaho.  You'll find this blog at

 http://sheriyoder.blogspot.com/

I have NOT posted anything on that blog yet - give me a few days!

A new adventure is just around the corner....

The Process

We are in the process of finishing a house so that we can sell it - 

again.

I wondered if we had always done this - 

worked hard at the very end in order to get the house on the market - 

and in thinking about it, 

it IS a pattern!

Only one time had we had the house completely ready to sell when we decided we wanted to move. And we have done this plenty of times.

I'm not having a hard time thinking of selling this house, although I love it, but I hate the last couple of weeks of mess, work and stress.

It looks awful around here.

We have a family room and bathroom that we hadn't even touched until a few weeks ago.

It needed a complete gut and a window added (who would build a room without a window?!).

We have since added the window(which meant cutting through concrete block and brick),
 moved plumbing,
endured the sheetrock stage,
painted the ceiling and walls,
tiled the shower (the grout job from hell),
built a cabinet, have the cabinet painted (working on the doors and drawer fronts),
and have the tile floor down but not grouted in the bathroom (today's project).

Floor coverings coming a week from Monday.  (Yippee!)

It is a mess - 
and not just in that room.
The dirt trails throughout the lower floor of our house and even makes it's way up the stairs.

I know we are on the downward slope now BUT it still feels like quite a list...






We are meeting with a couple that go to our church who just recently came back to the Lord.  They requested that we meet with them - kind of a mentoring time if you will.

Sweetest couple with a big past.  We already love them, we really do.
Love to see them and be with them.  
BUT this last time together was not that wonderful.
As he said "it was brutal".

But as I was moaning over my list of to dos for the house today I was reminded of what Warren had told me on our first remodel

"It has to look worse before it can look better". 

He's been proven right about that.

And today God just spoke to my heart about this couple.

"It has to look worse before it can look better".

They are determined to walk the walk but there is a lot of garbage to clean up first.
A lot of remodeling.
If you've walked with the Lord for any length of time, then you've been there.
There is just a lot of tearing out and building up and the process is messy and not so much fun
but you can't get to the beauty without it.

And this week, I think I'll tell them our story.  You know, the worst
 part- before it got better.
That should encourage them.
If nothing else it will encourage me.

Making of a Table

We have been "home" for 2 weeks now and I realized that I still hadn't

put any pictures of the table that Warren built while we were in Brazil.

Alipio (director of the Bible School) and Ashley have been living there since Nov.

They are doing some work on a house, trying to make it their home.

We had asked if there was anything Warren could do for them 

and they came up with the idea of a table.

Their dining room is enormous.

The table had to be large.

10'x4'6"

and weighs around 500 lbs.

It is made out of recycled lumber from an old building

with minimal tools.

This was delivery day!

 Ashley's face as they were bringing it into the house!

I'm not kidding when I say it weighs about 500 lbs.  

It took 5 guys to carry the top and they had a hard time with it!

The top boards were 1 1/2" thick.

Gently boys, without landing it on any ones foot!

The base in place.

It had to be positioned correctly because that table

wasn't going anywhere once the top was on!

The finished table

with the owner and the builder!

Details

You might have noticed from the beginning pictures

 what Ashley and I were doing that day.

Yes, painting!

The room had a two-sided rock fireplace that was in bad condition

so they had had it covered with sheet rock.

Because there were a lot of void places behind the sheet rock

we couldn't lean a ladder against it.

Now, how do you paint out the trim if you can't get up there?

This was Ashley solution:

A paint brush taped to the end of a broom handle.

And you know what?

  It worked!!!!

The finished look.

Remember how big I told you the table was?

The room is huge!!!

Warren enjoyed doing the project

and we are told that the table has already been used for a staff breakfast.

Knowing the two of them, it will be used often.

Just one of the things that kept Warren busy

while in Brazil!

Random Doings

We are about to leave on a "short term" mission trip with the students from the school.

We are headed to Foz do Iguassu were we will be seeing some of the people

that we ministered with 3 years ago as well as dear friends.

Please keep the whole team in prayer as we are sent as the first team from the school.

I'm sure it will be a learning experience for us all!

Pray for the hearts that are going to hear the gospel message,

that they will be soft and ready to hear and receive.

Also pray that the team will be going with an attitude of servanthood and hard work

rather than a "vacation" mentality!

We also ask that you pray for our safety as we travel and that we all remain healthy.

This post is rather random

as I just have a few minutes

but I thought I would just catch you up on a few ordinary things

that take place here!

Laundry day:

We use the washing machines at the center so we make a trip down there about once a week. (these pictures are one of the trips back with a few things

after having checked to see if things are dry)

There are no dryers there so we hang them to dry.

I put this picture up not only because Warren is so handsome :)

but also because you can see the conference center in the background.

The area to the right is the cafeteria where we eat with the staff and students Mon - Fri.

One of the smaller racks of clothes.....

when the laundry basket is full (most of the time)

we both grab a side and carry, otherwise the plastic digs into the hands!

This is the "Beast"

talked about in the previous post!

We haven't driven it since

(I don't think anyone has!)

They did give us another pickup to drive

and it starts every time!

This is our duplex.

The pastor and his wife live on the other side.

Just so you will believe me when I say the spiders are big here!

And, yes, I killed this one myself!

This was on our front porch and the following night we saw another one.

He got away before I had a chance with the shoe!

Last night we heard quite the noise from behind our curtain

and when Warren pulled it back this was what we found.

A gecko eating some kind of bug.

It was on the outside of the screen

but we have geckos in our living room on a regular basis.

They are kinda cute!

On a side note:

I drove Ashley and Alipio's care (with Ashley)

into town yesterday.

Stick shift and all.

It felt so good to have the freedom...

Ashley and I were really patting ourselves on the back until...

it started to rain - HARD.

(remember the red, slippery mud?!)

We walked 4 blocks to the car...

soaked to the skin.

I actually could hardly see to walk because my mascara was running

into my eyes and they were burning so bad.

Ashley said, "I'll be your eyes"!

Ya, that works like a charm!

Anyway, we got in the car, prayed and took off for home.

Just outside of town the roads were dry.

Thank you, Lord!

A successful first day of driving!

Watch out husbands - how will you ever keep us at home now?!

I know, no great stories or anything this time

but I noticed how long it had been since I updated

and I wanted to at least let you see how brave I am (killing the spider and all).

Warren and I are planning to return here on Monday

and then I (and Ashley) are going to be painting and cleaning up an apartment

that a new staff couple are going to be moving into.

Warren is actually building a table for Alipio and Ashley

and will be working on that.

Once we get back we have a little over a week before we head to Curitiba.

It's going to be hard to say good-bye here.....